I’m in a bit of a weird mood. See, I ate lamb. Yes, it was about a crumb or two, mixed in a mash of sweet potato. But, still. I DON’T EAT MAMMALS! You need to understand that. I CAN’T.
Yes, I eat chicken and fish, so I’m not technically a “vegetarian”; but, I will not eat a mammal. See, I’m a mammal, so NO MAMMAL FOR ME!
I’m sick from this. DANG Jenifer-Lyn! She’s always pushing my buttons, isn’t she? I’ve ranted about her before, and I’ll rant about her again. And, yes, she reads this blog. Hi Jen.
Anyway, Ms. J-L was OH-SO-KIND to bring me lunch today. What a sweet friend. Vegetarian lasagna. How VERY thoughtful. But. But, there was a side dish. It was supposed to be a butternut squash dish, made ‘specially for semi-vegetarian (“Mammalian”) me.
The vegetarian lasagna was, as to be expected, FAB. Then I went for the squash. (See, I’m a one-dish-at-a-time eater: for eg., I eat the chicken, THEN I eat the veggies, THEN I eat the rice — in no particular order — and I must FINISH one dish before embarking on the next, and NEVER MIX. I do not need that “perfect forkful.” You get what I mean, right-o?) So, yeah, I went for the squash.
I took a bite.
It was a little, errrrm….
Chewy.
ME: Wow, this dish is, umm, interesting! Tastes a bit like chicken. Is there chicken in this?
JL: What? No. It’s just squash.
ME: But, I swear, I’m chewing bits of chicken right now.
JL: Oh…..Wait! I may have brought the wrong d—
ME [spitting it out on plate]: No. NO. NOOOOOOO! I did not just eat meat! Tell me! Jen, tell me! Tell me I did not just eat MEAT!
JL: It could be chicken. It could be chicken. I made two purees for Zachary [her 7-month-old son]: one with chicken and one with lamb. I must have mistaken this one for the squash.
ME: So, wait. You’re saying this may be chicken.
JL [takes a bite...chews...chews...]: Nope. It’s, erm, lamb.
ME: You could at least lie! NoOOOOOOoOoOoOoOoOOOOOOO! [spit spit spit spit spit spit spit.]
HAAAAAATE! C’mon. I invite you to GO GET HER in the comments. Have fun guys. I’m sick to my stomach. I freaking ate a mammal. CAAARRRRP!
HURRRRRRL!
The newbie’s crying…. This means I only have one hand to type with now…. Will post pics….
HAIR!!!!!:
HE SPEAKS TO ME:
I FOUND THIS IN MY BRA…. HOW DID I NOT KNOW IT WAS THERE?
FEEEEEEET! FOR ALLIE, XO:
Want gossip? Check it — at CHEATY GOSSIP!
Shoeaddict said, November 9th, 2007 at 3:00 am
I don’t eat red meat. I cannot stand lamb. That was in your bra??? Ha
The rascal’s feet are soooo sweet. LOVE it
Kristen said, November 9th, 2007 at 4:12 am
Poor you!
I am so loving rascal’s hair! and of course those adorable toesies. cute!
I laughed to see what you found in your bra! Many’s an evening where I have taken of my rather large bra to find something that should not have been there. the perils of toddlers and oversized-milk spouting boobs!
Di said, November 9th, 2007 at 6:35 am
I love baby feet. But once they get to be toddler feet, I don’t want them anywhere near me. I don’t even know how pedicurists do their jobs. The other day, my friend’s 7-year old stuck her foot about 3 inches from my face saying, “Look Miss Diane…my toenail fell off.” I calmly replied, “I don’t like feet. I don’t want to look at feet. I don’t want feet near me. Particularly when they are maimed in some way.”
I always talk to children like they have little PhD’s…sometimes it makes them go away…with their little maimed feet.
goofball said, November 9th, 2007 at 7:32 am
oh I love lamb..you can send me the leftovers
multi-tasking mommy said, November 9th, 2007 at 7:49 am
OMG, LOVE those tiny little feet! I love baby feet too–can’t get enough of them
SciFi Dad said, November 9th, 2007 at 8:14 am
I concur with MTM… the feet are too sweet!
(And uh, Jen is a not so nice person for feeding you lamb… even though she was doing something nice for you by bringing lunch… so maybe she’s not so bad… man, this is complicated! Why can’t you just eat meat like the rest of us?)
shroom-monkey said, November 9th, 2007 at 8:45 am
yes that is rather large to have gotten lost in your bra??? wierd lady! don’t feel bad, when I was nursing the twins my boobs were so friggin huge they hurt and I would lose all sorts of stuff in the mix, crumbs, socks, toothbrush once… they are just soo damn massive and heavy playing cowland you don’t feel it…
Rebecca said, November 9th, 2007 at 9:22 am
I’ll eat anything, pretty much, but eating baby animals is sort of my boundary lines.
There’s just nothing like the huge, planet-sized post pregnancy boobs, isn’t there?
lauraldawn said, November 9th, 2007 at 9:31 am
Wow. Enlightening. I seriously thought that chickens were mammals. I just googled it. Wow. See why I sucked at science?
Personally I hate lamb. So there you go.
I love the Rascal’s Little Mohawk. You need to put some hair colour in it so that he can look like Maddox. We put red in Matt’s hair – it’s adorable.
ali said, November 9th, 2007 at 9:53 am
i’m more disturbed by the fact that you were eating baby food…pureed baby food…than the fact that J-L fed you lamb.
tell us more about this not eating mammals thing. i honestly don’t get it! explain!
Jenifer G. said, November 9th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
Hey for a second I was thinking chickens were mammals too…oh I need to get more sleep.
Toes! Love them.
Cyndi said, November 9th, 2007 at 1:07 pm
I love lamb and that looked really good. I’m sorry for you though. At least it was an accident and she didn’t do it on purpose. Can’t say I ever found anything in my bra. Even while nursing they only get to a C.
Gwen said, November 9th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
Well, as embarrassed as she was she did admit the mistake she made. Oh, well. The feet are loverly. I want some new baby feet myself.
Nadine said, November 9th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
Oh, I don’t eat baby animals either. I will eat mammals though.
Look at those feet! Can I eat them?
allie said, November 9th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
ha ha, that was fabulous…….I WUV BABY FEET!! mmmmmmmmmm…thanks that is too sweet of you!
Have a great week-end
p.s. how did you find a chocolate basket in your bra?? That is insane! (LOL)
Kat said, November 9th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
HOW did you not know that was in your bra???
No mammals, eh? Interesting way of doing it. I guess that’s basically no red meat, right?
Probably very healthy, but I soooo love beef
*moo*
Kara said, November 9th, 2007 at 5:35 pm
I eat my food one at a time too! I’ve only known of my sister and I to do that. I’m glad we’re not alone.
Jenny said, November 9th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
It could have been worse. It could have been made from humans, right?
Jill said, November 9th, 2007 at 8:01 pm
Was that a Dora pinic basket in you bra?? If yes, I’ll agree with you, the are still pretty huge!!(But hello unconfortable!!)
Lindsay said, November 9th, 2007 at 10:20 pm
Ugh I HATE lamb. I am so freaky about eating most meats, even chicken gets me sometimes. I am more of a texture freak though, like crunchy or chewy bits make me have to stop eating my meal entirely. Anyway, I AM SORRY. On another note, I totally eat one dish at a time too, I always thought that I was a weirdo because of this but I am not capable of mixing. Are we freaks?
b*babbler said, November 9th, 2007 at 10:42 pm
Ewww. I’m a vegetarian, and that really would not have made my day.
Love the chubby baby legs. Too cute!
lisa b said, November 10th, 2007 at 12:33 am
mmmm sounds delish
(and I’m a mammalian too!)
Karen said, November 10th, 2007 at 12:48 am
Baby feet, OMG. Cutest thing on earth. Sorry you touched the lamb. I sort of get what you’re saying, but I do love lamb.
I should try that toy in the bra thing… would make me less flat
You are brillers, as per usual.
wilddreemer said, November 10th, 2007 at 10:20 am
i dont eat anything with a mom or a face, but lamb omg lamb is the worst, it is horrid and rotten and right up there with fish, and i threw up in my mouth a little reading that you ingested lamb. i’m soooo sorry
denguy said, November 10th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
Ooo, I loves the lamb, but how nasty that must have been for you.
mrsmogul said, November 10th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
I’ve been CRAVING fried chicken and I don’t eat poultry. Thos baby legs looked like thighs…yumm from KFC! yummm! Can I have a chomp of your cute baby’s drumstick leg?
manda said, November 11th, 2007 at 12:52 am
baby feet are so divine. and that being in your bra…hahahahaha. it just cracked me up for some reason.
Jill said, November 11th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
You have to be warn, but you are staring into a movie at my blog!! But it is an action one…
Wormbrain said, November 11th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Most people who are picky about what taxonimical levels they will tolerate stop right at the highest one, Kingdom.
But NOOOO, you had to be different and discriminate against a Class of organisms.
Kathryn said, November 11th, 2007 at 10:47 pm
I love that JL was so honest about it. Too cute. Ya gotta give her points for that.
I can only eat one food at a time too. Funny.
Teena in Toronto said, November 11th, 2007 at 11:41 pm
I don’t eat lamb … ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Love the hair on the rascal!
Amreen said, November 12th, 2007 at 12:42 am
oh no! i remember having that moment on a plane when I mistakenly bit into a salad with bacon – for religious reasons, I don’t eat pork and never have. I freaked out when I felt in in my mouth!
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