It seems I’ve scared some of my preggers readers…. My posts, they say, SCARE them!

….BOO!

Honestly, though? As utterly horribly terribly exhausted as I am, and as impossible as caring for new baby AND terrible-twoer is, I’m managing. No. I’m doing more than just managing. I’m kind of laughing. Yeah, I’m tired and fat and flashing my boob every five minutes in public, but my little monkeys make me laugh! A lot. And, you know what they say about laughter…. They say it’s healthy and rejuvenating. And, see, my skin has never looked better. No seriously. Self-denigrating moi is actually paying herself a compliment. My skin’s aiight these days. Very clear and very smooooove. LOVING.IT.

Another GREAT thing about my scaaaaary situation is the TV. I’ve never watched so much TV in my life. Maybe that’s why I sound like such a dolt here lately. Maybe that’s why I’m, like, très cloudy…. Mommy-brain plus insane amount of TV does not a good blogger make! But, a happy mommy makes, fashizzle!

Yes, instead of staring adoringly into the rascal’s eyes as he ferociously drinks from my boooooobeeee (can you say, COW? I’m a total COW — in more ways than one, ahem, but, totally…cow), I stare blankly at my TV. If I’m lucky, there’s a good show on (Project Runway), and, if unlucky, I’m stuck with CARP (Extreme Makeover…ick!). Good show or CARP, I still watch. I don’t think I’ve learned anything much from all the reality shows I watch, other than the fact that Heidi Klum is RIDICULOUSLY GORJ and that saline implants are pretty darn safe but EW! Good times.

Whereas before I REFUSED to have the TV on during the day? Now, I just tell myself I’m exhausted, I’m nursing pretty much every 90 minutes, and I DESERVE it. So, without further ado, I give you 13 of the TV shows I watch while nursing — either because I love them (The Office) or because there’s nothing else on (Nanny 911). Check it!

1. THE OFFICE (LOVE!)

2. PROJECT RUNWAY (SEASON 3) (LOVE! See #3 for why….)

3. PROJECT RUNWAY CANADA (The Project Runway series give me purpose: makes me want to LOSE weight not TO BE FIT AND HEALTHY again, nahhhhh, but so I can wear chic clothes…. If I could go back in time, I’d like to be a fashion designer, doncha knowww………)

4. AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL ( But, of course….)

5. THE BACHELOR (Is he for real? Seriously? Can’t be.)

6. THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS (Total carp but so hooked am….)

7. THE HILLS (I know, I know, IT’S NOT REALITY. It’s more like fantasy, so I love it!)

8. SURVIVOR (I’m actually into it this season! Is it me? Or, does Courtney look like Winona Ryder — hurry up and check it, before skinny girl disappears!)

9. REAL WORLD: SYDNEY (Does anyone else think this show is lame-o? So was Newport Harbour….)

10. THE FASHIONISTA DIARIES (Where I can live vicariously in the fashion world….)

11. HEROES (A little violent for my liking, but sheer brillers.)

12. EXTREME MAKEOVER (HATE! LOATHE! DETEST! But, the rascal wakes up without fail when there’s nothing else but this horrible excuse for TV on…!)

13. NANNY 911 (It’s aiight. Educationalish….)

RANDOMS:

Why does Minden insist on sticking his tongue in my mouth? Like, ICK already!

I finally found that blanket I lost a few days ago…. Ew…:

The monkey has been obsessed for a record-breaking 5 DAYS with “Pinky Bear”:

Do you understand how PRESHUSS your sleep is? Please revel in it and enjoy it FOR ME tonight, kay?

Check CHEATY’S CELEBRITY GOSSIP — I’m asking for y’alls’s feedback! LOVE!

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