…Actually, not quite. I just have that song in my head because I’m getting ready for the big DIAPER-BAG HUNT the monkey and I are going on tomorrow morning. Desperate to find that perfect diaper bag AM I. So, we’re going early tomorrow morning before heading to Jenifer-Lyn’s house for a home-cooked lunch — organic tofu lasagna, she says. How nice is THAT? Loving her.

Anyway, there’s a reason I’m going on a diaper-bag hunt tomorrow morning. It’s because I’ve been through THE WORST DIAPER-BAG DEBACLE EVAH!

See, my sister and sister in law got me my fave diaper bag for my birthday. Check it:


It’s the famous Roots diaper bag that everyone who has one (including my sister) SWEARS BY. I just HAD to have one, too.

So, on my birthday, ma girls got me a Roots diaper bag of my very own. I was so excited! Until….

…I took it out of the gift bag, and…..

…PEEEEEEEE-EWWWW! It reeked! I’m talking SKUNK + CIGARETTE + PLASTIC + BARF. Totally ewww. Totally.

Took it home and thought, “s’okay, it’ll air out, I’ll Febreeze it, etc.”

So, a week passed. And, even after airing it out outside and spraying Febreeze all over it several times, the thing actually smelled worse than it did when I first opened it. After all that, it smelled like SKUNK + CIGARETTE + PLASTIC + BARF + FEBREEZE. And, I couldn’t take it anymore!

This morning, I dumped all my now-smelly stuff out of it, plugged my nose and put it in my car. Drove the monkey to preschool and b-lined it to Roots. Unfortunately, I had to hang out with the stinkers diaper bag for an hour — until the Roots store opened. So, I went to the big book store, bought the monkey a Dora book and perused the parenting section.

Of course, I was SO embarrassed whenever someone passed by me and The Bag. “Stinky preggers woman!”, they must have thought to themselves, “I didn’t know preggers women smelled THAT bad! She must be due any minute…. And, would you look at her massive FEET — the horror! the horror!”

Finally, Roots opened. It turns out the diaper bags were actually RECALLED because of the smell (nothing toxic about it, by the way — I, of course, asked…a few times). Apparently, the store should never have sold the bag to my sis in the first place. The manager took the bag back, thankfully. And, I got a measly in-store credit. So, I bought me some-o-diss:

How cute is that? Of course, these are clothes for the monkey, and not for me. I’m short, but not THAT short. And, I’m not exactly buying new clothes for me RIGHT NOW…! My cheaty little YOGI! Oy!

Anyway, I still need a diaper bag, right? Soooo…. You know, I really hope you’re not bored. This is kind of unexciting if you think about it. I better just cut out the flowery and make it short.

Basically, I called my sis, and she called another Roots store that had some NOT-RECALLED bags in stock. I went there, picked out a smell-free bag and brought it home.

A few hours later. THE SMELL CAME BACK ON NEW BAG. It’s so freaking gross.

So, tomorrow, I’m returning it AGAIN — to a Roots store that’s going to give me a full refund, and not an in-store credit. I called the store, and they PROMISED me a full refund TWICE. I’m gonna get my moolah, and b-line it to a mommy/baby store. And, I’m going to get me a new FANCY diaper bag. You BET you’ll see it pictured here tomorrow…unless I go into labour or something….

By the way, Roots has been very gracious. They’re mailing us discount cards and everything. I have absolutely nothing against Roots — especially since they’re seriously eco-friendly, Canadian-born, and all that. It’s just THAT STENCH — unfortunately, it’s turned me right off this brillers bag.

Anyone got any recommendations for a hott diaper bag? Something I’ll feel like a yummy mommy in? But, that’s also mommy friendly and practical?

COUNTDOWN TO NEW BABY DUE DATE: 13 DAYS! EEEEEeeeeeeeee!

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