The monkey. uttered. a. complete. sentence. today.

See, she was REALLY into her 5-month-old cousin’s old pacifier. She was sticking it in her mouth (when she didn’t have his bottle in her mouth…ahem), and playing with it in various silly toddler ways. And, then she lost the fab new toy. She looked around. And, nothing. Couldn’t find it. So, she turned to me and said very tentatively:

“I – dunno – where – pacifier – is.”

I was shocked with every word that came out. And, she said this with accompanying shrugged shoulders and tilted head! Oy. Preshuss?!? Sometimes, I just don’t know how to handle so much cuteness! And, A SENTENCE! What next?? Please say “potty trained”?

But, PEOPLE HOW’S SHE GOING TO DO WHEN HER BROTHER SISTER BROTHER SISTER NEW BABY COMES? She’s my little monkey. And, soon there will be an even LITTLER one in our home. REALLY soon. Last night, for example, I totally thought I was going into labour. TOTALLY.

And, by the way? Have you been checking here over and over again to see if I’m in labour? Because my site stats are THROUGH THE ROOF! And, it’s not like anything much is going on here. I mean, all I really do is babble about my feet and boobs and indigestion and burps and stuff…. But, maybe that’s what YOU THE PEOPLE want…. If so, what’s going to happen when baby comes? When my feet look normal again, and my uggers short haircut REALLY starts to grow out, and I stop burping (to think!)? ‘Cuz I love seeing so many visits to the site! LOVE!

And, heya, do I post a picture of the new baby? There are TONS of old pics of the monkey on this site, from when I used to post pictures of her sweety cheaty little face? Hmm. Maybe just a sweet back-of-the-head new-baby pic…? I’m getting good at those back-of-head pics…, um…, right?

Sheesh, and would you believe I thought I had NOTHING to say to you today? Is verbal diarrhea a sign of baby coming soon? Are we there yet?

And, have I not stopped writing yet? Burning tingling carpal tunnel fingers are telling me I’ve not stopped. Burning eyes are telling me I’m still staring at black letters appearing on bright white screen when I really should be sleeping…?

…Ummm…. I need your help also. Do you think I can wear my flip flops to synagogue this week? It’s the Jewish High Holidays this week, and my flip flops are the only shoes my swollen feet fit into.

Errrrmmm…. I’m sorry to say I don’t think there’s a choice here really. But, maybe I’ll wear my long lululemon pants so you can barely see the flops? It’s the children’s service, anyway. And, I’m SO HUGE, that I can’t imagine ANYONE would care?

The monkey will be wearing her running shoes to synagogue — because I haven’t gotten my act together to chase her around a shoe store for dress shoes…. I always end up crawling after her on the floor. Even though the very concept of me crawling on the floor is really hott right now, ahem, I’m not into it. I’d rather she wear her new Nikes.

Minden and I are speaking again (after yesterday’s poop-on-floor birthday present). He said he was “meow” (i.e., “sorry”), and I let him off the hook.

So soft and furry….

Want more cheaty?? Check my pregnancy blog — freshly updated HERE!

Want gossip?? Check it — at CHEATY’S CELEBRITY GOSSIP! Some crazy stuff (as usual) going on there!

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