I never swear on this blog.

I HATE THIS F–ING PLACE:

I just need a DRESSER and a BOOKSHELF for New Baby. I mean, is that too much to ask from THAT PLACE? Well! They only had TWO models, two UGGERS dressers to choose from. And, that wasn’t the worst of it.

I’m a nice person. Really really nice. But, at THAT PLACE, I morph into the biggest beeyatch imaginable — and I mean BIG, and BEEYATCH.

First of all. To the PEOPLE who go to THAT PLACE: do NOT stand {THIS} close to a very pregnant woman. Just. Don’t. You’re liable to get THWACKED, or at least run over by a stroller. And, dudes, LOOK AROUND: is there a very pregnant woman around you? If so, DO NOT even attempt to cross her path, and DO keep a f–ing FAR distance, or she’s liable to rip her hair out and possibly yours. And, you don’t want any of that.

Aside from our trip to THAT PLACE I’ve had a great long weekend so far. I’ve been SO nice and everything, energetic, the works. Then we decide to go to THAT PLACE, and I’m dunzo for the weekend (and hopefully not the week).

I’m not the type of person who lingers on little annoyances. But, every f-ing little annoyance that occurred at THAT PLACE today is still making my head throb. Making me pissed about every little pissy thing that I could possibly be pissed about.

To make matters WORSE, I think I’m coming down with something. Isn’t that great? I’m 4 weeks away from my due date, and I’m getting a freaking cold. Know why I think I’m getting this cold? BECAUSE THE MONKEY’S SICK. Her little eyes are puffy, and her nose is Niagara Falls….

My throat hurts.

Blaaaaaah.

On the funny side, though…. This evening, when I was making dinner, the monkey lifted up the back of my shirt, stood next to my butt and yelled “FART!!!”

Hee.

I didn’t. Fart, I mean. I didn’t fart. She just said it. I burp when I’m preggers. That’s all. I burp a lot. It’s ridiculous, really.

Hmph. Cheaty little monkey.

On the productive side…. I started going through the monkey’s old newborn clothes and stuff — so I could wash it all and put it away in the DRESSER THAT WE DON’T F-ING HAVE YET…thanks to THAT PLACE.


I made the photo black and white, of course, because I’m keeping the sex of New Baby a big ole SURPRISE! But, don’t worry, you’re not missing anything — Minden still totally looks like himself (just insert pink for nose).


Of course, that big orb next to the cutie little onesie is my belly….


This pic was, of course, taken BEFORE the trip to THAT PLACE. See, I’m smiling. Sigh…. 4 weeks to go till my nose (and my boobs and hands and feet and EVERYTHING else) starts returning to it’s normal size….

Want gossip? Check it — at CHEATY’S CELEBRITY GOSSIP (I wrote it before we went to THAT PLACE, so, coast is clear….)

[29] Comments