I’m not going to talk about my haircut. I’m just not. At least not till tomorrow. I’ll stop crying about it by then, I’m sure.
No. Instead, I’m going to talk about my new shoes. I got new shoes today. They’re OKAY. They’re better than crocs; so, that’s something. They were the ONLY SHOES IN THE ENTIRE FRIGGIN MALL that fit my swollen preggers — GHASTLY — feet. When I’m NOT pregnant, my feet are hard to find shoes for. But, when I’m pregnant, WATCH OUT WORLD! I’m a human with ELEPHANT FEET.
So, here are the miracle shoes. The ONLY shoes IN THE MALL that fit….
MINDEN, get out of the way!
They’re not spectacular, I know. But, the pickin’s were…. Well, there were no pickin’s. Supposedly, these shoes are even GOOD for my feet — as opposed to the crocs that give me NO support. (I really can’t stand those crocs….)
Anyway, bottom line? Even though the shoes fit, my feet (and ankles — which are usually one of my fave features) are still atrocious. Atrocious enough to go with my new haircut. Freaking FROWN!
To make myself feel better, I compiled a list of uggers celebrity feet. And, I do feel a little bit better. (Don’t be surprised if I do a bad-celebrity-hairstyle list next week….) Check it!
1. Victoria Beckham — BUNIONS (she’s apparently going under the knife soon to get rid of them and obtain nice feet finally….) This, my friends, is what happens when you were stilettos too often….
2. Paris Hilton — Biggest feet EVAH. She wears SIZE 11 shoes! And, she knows they’re not her best feature, swears by stilettos because they make her feet look smaller.
3. Jennifer Garner — Have you ever heard of a crossed toe? I hadn’t until now…. It’s apparently genetic. (This makes me feel MUCH better about my feet….)
4. Kate Beckinsale — Toes that look like McCain french fries, mismatched nail polish….
5. Iman — BUNIONS!!! And, yeah, she knows they’re uggers….
6. Keira Knightley — has used body doubles for her feet because, as sources have said, her feet were deemed too “big and veiny” for a closeup!
7. Kate Hudson — Magazines said she had 6 toes! But, she doesn’t really. Her feet are just so oddly shaped that it LOOKS like she has 6 toes….
8. Hilary Duff — These feet look sort of like mine! Short fat toes! Hers are cute, though, I think?
9. Britney Spears — SMELLIEST, GNARLIEST FEET IN THE WORLD!
10. Oprah Winfrey — Uggers feet ALL AROUND!
11. Katie Holmes — knobby, callusy toes!
12. Kirsten Dunst — I guess my feet could be worse; they could look like this….
13. Shilpa Shetty — NO. WORDS.
Without a doubt, the most BEAUTIFUL CELEBRITY FEET are these:
…My cheaty little monkey’s feet, of course! LOVE!
Shannon said, July 26th, 2007 at 1:14 am
Yuck! I hate feet to begin with and Oprah should NEVER show her again!
Rasmenia said, July 26th, 2007 at 5:24 am
Ha ha…great T13. I can’t believe that those women are wearing shoes like that – if my feet looked like that, I would hide them away from the world forever.
Very funny list…a little gross, but very funny!
Milan - zzz said, July 26th, 2007 at 7:20 am
Oh I do think most of them have bigger defect in their heads than on the feet.
As a guy I do love womens feet a lot but then, priority is what’s inside the head.
Cheers!
Happy T13!
erika said, July 26th, 2007 at 7:23 am
Ouch! Those bunions must HURT. I had surgery on my (not) beauties, and it takes FOREVER to recover. Like 12 weeks. Maybe that’s why they aren’t going under the knife?
Even after my surgery, though, it is impossible to find cute shoes for a size 11 wide width foot. Once you hit size 10, they all look like grandma’s “going out” sneakers.
drea said, July 26th, 2007 at 7:26 am
What a great 13!
From what I can tell Brits feet arent bad, their just dirty from walking around barefooted… I cant talk tho…seriously… I live barefooted. I try not to walk around on parking lots barefooted… cause they are REALLY nasty… but I cant lie… I have :-\
I agree Hillarys toes arent bad at all. I love my feet and find them very cute
While pregnant I lived barefooted…. even at church ::not lying!!!:: thankfully people found it adorable when I did it and not discusting LOL!
Whats wrong w/ Kirstens feet? is that a rash? that looks itchy…
and wow..
that last one is pretty bad….. ive heard of people getting plastic surgery on feet before… I can see why now LOL.
Although this problem can be easily solved by never wearing opened toed shoes
Jennie said, July 26th, 2007 at 7:38 am
Short, fat toes are GREAT for sandals with skinny little cross-straps. My toes look like fingers in those! Bunion surgery is very difficult to do and sometimes messes up your feet even more. I should know, since bunions, hammertoes, and all that fun stuff runs in my family! My mom had her hammertoes straightened, and now she blissfully wears sandals whenever possible!
AndreAnna said, July 26th, 2007 at 8:19 am
Ok, this is a post close to my heart! I had ugg feet and had them fixed a few years ago and now they are cute BUT I am a size 11 (probably the only thing I have in common with Paris Hilton) and I totally don’t mind. Growing up, it was hard because I was a size 11 by high school and they didn’t really have ANYthing that wasn’t hideous. But, America must be getting bigger as a whole because I have very little trouble finding size 11s now – Steve Madden is my favorite. I literally have over 70 pair of shoes/boots because, I am slightly obsessed, but I don’t try to make my feet look smaller. I’m tall so I figure they fit me.
I don’t think I will ever be the same after seeing the pic of Shilpa Sheety. So. Dang. Creepy.
mamatulip said, July 26th, 2007 at 8:34 am
Oh god, I have a bunion on my left foot and I am seeing a specialist in August about surgery. After reading the comments on this post about them I am SCARED.
lauraldawn said, July 26th, 2007 at 8:38 am
Wow.
Is it awful that I’m enjoying the fact that there is something that celebrities actually can’t fix??? I don’t mind my feet.
sam said, July 26th, 2007 at 8:42 am
CUTE Monkey toes!!!
Ugh, them are some NASTY feet! I don’t feel so bad about mine now! LOL
Steph said, July 26th, 2007 at 8:50 am
Hayly! Why would you do this to me so early in the morning? Oh my good lord…I just gagged on my granola sitting at my desk…this is on a par when I called up Laural’s blog and saw the pulled tooth picture (love both of your blogs to death!) or when I was at the Bay last week and mesmerized by some woman who had her baby toe sticking out from her foot at a ninety degree angle…but this blog post is shocking and disturbing. I can’t even begin to describe how I hate feet- even ones that aren’t all gnarly. The Scientology aliens have taken over Katie’s poor toes. BTW, did you see the picture last week of Posh’s one weird leg?
Steph said, July 26th, 2007 at 8:53 am
Sorry- I was in so much shock about the pics I spelled your name wrong Hayley.
ali said, July 26th, 2007 at 9:10 am
i have serious issues with feet in general. to me, they are meant to be covered!
Karen said, July 26th, 2007 at 9:10 am
Haley- your shoes are cute, so don’t stress too much about them. My sister’s feet swelled like crazy the last couple weeks; she could only wear flip flops. She just had her baby on Tuesday so hopefully the swelling will go down quickly. She has cute toes. As does your little monkey -beautiful footsies!
Unlike those crazy ugger canoes that you’ve posted – yikes! The things women do for beauty – stilettos obviously are terrible for your toes. Hilary’s look OK, but the rest are hideous. As in, “Why are they wearing open-toed shoes” hideous.
Green Eyed Girl said, July 26th, 2007 at 9:12 am
Wow those are some ugly feet! It makes me feel a bit better about my ugly feet! Thanks.
LoriD said, July 26th, 2007 at 9:17 am
I will have nightmares about Kate Hudson’s 6th toe. Ewwwww. I have a gift certificate here for a pedicure… making the appointment right now!
Jenifer G. said, July 26th, 2007 at 9:19 am
This is so great…all the money and fame in the world can’t buy you nice feet apparently! I have feet issues and I actually like mine. They are not too big and my toes are cute – I think. Your new shoes look fine…I hope they are comfortable.
My girls love getting pedicures…they sit so still and nice while I take care of their toes in the hope that they will get some polish. Other than my girls I hate touching other people’s feet!
Funny post!
Lisa said, July 26th, 2007 at 9:36 am
Oh ew. I had no idea I could be freaked out by FEET.
JMC said, July 26th, 2007 at 10:01 am
DAMN!! Compared to that, my feet are HOT!! I mean downright SEXY!!
Tug said, July 26th, 2007 at 10:10 am
So what IS that on Kirsten’s? Looks like spattered blood.
ew.
Monkey’s, are, of course, adorable! Glad you found some shoes…
Sparky Duck said, July 26th, 2007 at 11:12 am
Thems some ugly feet, but usually I dont notice the feet until much much later.
Renee said, July 26th, 2007 at 11:20 am
That Oprah thing reminded me of one time (way back when I still watched her show) she had her podiatrist on the show and he was supposed to show folks what he typically did for an office visit and he had got to the point where he was scraping off the dead skin from Oprah’s feet and they suddenly went to a commercial and when they came back they were doing something totally different. I’m guessing that folks were so put off by watching Oprah’s feet that they switched him out of there. Oh well. LOL
Wow! Some of those celebs have done some really sad things to their feet with those stupid shoes. I know my grandmother has some really knarly feet because she wears nothing but cheap Walgreens flip flops…now she can’t even get her feet into regular shoes. I guess it’s a good thing that she lives in FL.
I try to take care of my feet. I won’t wear uncomfortable shoes at all. DD will take off her uncomfortable shoes and I don’t mind much. While she inherited my MIL’s short ugly stubby toes, at least she’ll have healthy feet.
BTW: Monkey’s feet are just too cute! And your shoes don’t look too bad. At least the leather will stretch if you need it to. Course you won’t get to wear those shoes again after the baby comes…but at least you’ll be comfy for now.
Suprina said, July 26th, 2007 at 11:25 am
Why don’t Celeb’s take better care of there feet.
I just don’t get it.
Great TT!
Jodi Lee said, July 26th, 2007 at 11:54 am
Yuck, yuck, double yuck! Shilpa Shetty, Oprah, Kirsten Dunst should NEVER be allowed to wear sandals again!!
It saddens me to say, but this may just be Britney’s best trait.
taylorblue said, July 26th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
That is a horrible collection…I can’t get over Katie’s feet. You would think celebrities feet are amazing…apparently not. I’m just stunned..I think feet are ugly anyways and this just confirms it…LOL
L-Squared said, July 26th, 2007 at 2:04 pm
Awwww… the Monkey’s feet are adorable. The rest of them on your list are just scary!
I have freakishly long, skinny toes, so that’s all anyone ever notices about my feet.
Jessica The Rock Chick said, July 26th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
What a fun idea for a post! Those are some ugly feet, no doubt. Kirsten Dunst looks like she has blood splatter on her feet or something. I don’t wanna know!
I have a special TT this week about Blogfest 2007 where I will be blogging for 24 hours straight to benefit VH1 Save The Music Foundation. Hope you can stop by today and Saturday! Happy TT!
Jessica The Rock Chick
damozel said, July 26th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
At least they aren’t pushing cosmetic surgery for feet…yet. I say every foot is beautiful in its own way….
damozel said, July 26th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
PS. PRETTEH new shoes!!
robyn said, July 26th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Weird topic but mesmerising…. what id Kirsten do to her feet?
jasmine said, July 26th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Dude… excellent 13 today! Some of them even made me wretch – Bwahhhaahah. I love your new shoes, they’re totally cute and I’m glad you’re finally resisting and pulling away from the power of the Croc side.
jenn said, July 26th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
I love it hales. I hated my swollen ankles, they were ugly and painful.
BTW – katie has hammer toes, or what look like hammer toes, you see how they are all bent funny. my mom had them and they have to break your toes, then put pins in the end to keep them straight, then stitch you back up.
we called mom frankenfoot for weeks!
Anne said, July 26th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
LOL What is it about Bad Haircuts this month! My friend Tracy who runs “Women Can Do Anything” blogged about it this month too! http://wcda.blogspot.com
Well she was not as forthcoming as you were but if you read her blogs you can guess as I did what happened.
Not to worrry I’ve referred her to my favorite stylist. I get compliments on my cut even when it is wildly overgrown as it i now. I’m going in to face the blades on Saturday morning…hope I have not jinxed myself by being around all this bad hair karma!
I by the way have beautiful feet. I do have a wierd little toe, but otherwise I think I could be a foot model. Blessed am I.
Rebecca said, July 26th, 2007 at 7:53 pm
I’m going to have nightmares about those horrid celebrity feet for years, I’m sure.
Your feet will return to normal as soon as you have your baby. One of my daughters has extremely weird feet, inherited from her paternal grandmother. My poor little child.
Sorry about the bad haircut.
The Phoenix said, July 26th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
Are Kirsten’s feet bleeding???
em said, July 26th, 2007 at 8:52 pm
Gross feet (except for #13 and yours of course!) Nice to see that celebrities are human
mamakie said, July 26th, 2007 at 11:06 pm
Where do you find these pictures? I never realized how nice my own feet were until I saw these pictures. Certainly a good laugh for the day.
Love the new shoes BTW.
Jenn said, July 26th, 2007 at 11:26 pm
I love the new shoes!! Where did you get them?
Jenn
Amy said, July 27th, 2007 at 1:24 am
This was the most creative TT ever! I laughed… and I cried (if you count screaming ew!!)
Can you take away the other comment? I left me email by accident. Thanks!
Di said, July 27th, 2007 at 10:04 am
Katie Holmes’ feet are the uggeriest!!!! Yuck!
I am feeling so good about my toes right now. Can you find out some nasty stuff about Michelle Wie, Morgan Pressel and Annika Sorenstam so I can feel really good about my golf game???
SleepyNita said, July 28th, 2007 at 12:56 am
Great T13, love the topic. I love my fat little Hilary Duff style feet, but I pity the rest of those ladies!
Good to see that there is one thing wrong withtt hem they can’t just fix!
Jill said, July 28th, 2007 at 10:00 am
# 13 feet are gross… They look like momified feet!! There is still hope for us Haley(I’m a size 9, but with wide feet…all those pretty shoes are not wide enough!!)
Lisa said, July 28th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
Wow — gnarly celeb feet! Ewww!
You’d think they’d have the cash to fix that nastiness, since they “fix” everything else.
I’m preggo too (that’s how I found your blog), so I know what you mean about nothing fitting — and missing your old ankles!
Your new shoes are pretty cute. They look pretty comfy, too, so what the hay!
KikiT said, July 29th, 2007 at 1:48 am
Haley… I loved this post… it was FANTASTIC!! I never realised how ugly some people’s feet could be. How did you find my blog… that always interests me how people come across it. Maybe we can blog chat, you can teach me how to show some linky love!!
Teena said, July 29th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
What the heck is up with Shilpa Shetty’s feet? They are nasteeeee!
I played too
Susan Helene Gottfried said, July 30th, 2007 at 2:55 pm
I was once at a picnic and a podiatrist’s wife looked at all of us barefoot beauties and commented on how beautiful our feet were — not a bunion among us.
This is one of the many reasons I live in my Vans.
Ragamuffin said, June 17th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
How about saving the pics so one can see them even after 2 or so hours after you posted them?
Haley-O said, June 17th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
Sorry, Ragamuffin. The pics got lost in the site re-design. I just re-inserted them. Thanks for letting me know — this is a popular post!
Anonymous said, July 14th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
that last one with shilpa shetty scared me
seriously it did
lol fugly
i like hilary duffs, cute and soft
Celebridades com pés feios « Pés Famosos said, July 16th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
[...] lindíssima, me deixou bastante decepcionado com o seu pezinho esquisito. Não deixe de conferir a lista completa das celebridades [...]
Foot Holocaust said, July 23rd, 2008 at 2:36 am
Feet are the armpit of the human body.
That’s the grossest sh*t I’ve ever seen.
Palin said, October 23rd, 2008 at 4:24 pm
We all thought celebrities were perfect but in fact they’re not, some of the feet ive seen on here are disgusting.
Eduarda said, November 1st, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Gente depois que eu vi esses pés acho o meu lindo!!!
Joe said, December 22nd, 2008 at 5:51 am
Jennifer Garner has cutest feet, even with overlapping pinky toe. But I AM somewhat biased. I have same overlapping pinky toes on BOTH my feet. Jen only has it on her right foot. Jen’s left foot is “foot model material”
paul said, January 28th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
i love womes feet, and i also know you gotta live with what you get dealt, but nasty feet are a huge disapointment. yuck
Chantal said, January 29th, 2009 at 10:29 am
LOL these comments are funny.
Chantals last blog post..Anything to make work more fun
Sturm3r said, February 5th, 2009 at 8:52 am
JFC!!!
I absolutely adore womens feet!
And then I stumple across this site…, thx for shit!
Deusarino de Melo said, February 17th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
I absolutely, also love women feet principaly if in Pantyhose, stocking or sock. By this reason
is not important the size, the dolour, the model, if has six, seven, three or other number of toes. The most importante is, for me, that the feet are covered by pantyhose and similars. Is’nt nedessary shoes or sandals.
They are celebrities, the rest is the rest…
God bless all us.
DimpleZ said, March 2nd, 2009 at 7:28 pm
shetty got some shitty ass feet..omg..she got some ET feet..lmfao
John said, March 23rd, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Heidi Klum is No’1
JW said, March 29th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Ok, i agree with all of these but Keira Knightley, I love her feet!
rick said, April 18th, 2009 at 2:11 am
Keira Knightly and Hilary Duff have beautiful feet.
mandspix said, April 21st, 2009 at 8:44 pm
Shilpa Shetty has the ugliest feet, and Emma Watson has the most beautiful celebrity feet.
mandspixs last blog post..P1010946-1
mabline johnson said, April 22nd, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Ok everyone, give it a rest! They all have toes to count and feet to walk on. I”ll bet many veterans whose feet and legs were blown apart aren’t laughing at these toes and feet in sandals.
Why do we feed on things to laugh at, at the expense of someone else.
hotdogboy said, April 28th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
the majority of those feet are whack. i love Shilpa Shetty’s feet though… i would have her dip her toes in ranch dressing and have me suck it clean. tasty!!!
You Said You Wanted Feet…. | Cheaty Monkey said, May 24th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
[...] a fifth of my readers come here every day for my post about celebrity feet. It amazes me every time I look at my site metre and find referral after referral from some google [...]
marianny barroso said, June 10th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
well you eat in the hope that your films always follow you want to kiss well above venezuela
christine said, June 14th, 2009 at 2:54 am
wow…. i never knew celebs had something that wasn’t perfect.. this scares me
even though i’m a girl and my feet look like my dad’s, i feel good about them now
they’re actually way prettier than the celebs’, LOL!
i should take better care of my feet…. i mean, high heels look beautiful, but what they do to our feet is awful…… :S
William said, July 15th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Thanx for getting me out of the foot fetish….
Lexie_Hunnie said, July 17th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
I didn’t really see anything wrong with Hilary’s feet. Short stubby feet are cute. && I just feel sorry for Kirsten. BTW Paris’s feet aren’t that bad. OK they’re huge but at least they don’t have bunions/crossed toes/nasty smell.
Nice face, shame about the feet: We all love summer sandals but are bunions and gnarled nails such a good look? « Cliftonchadwick’s Blog said, August 6th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
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::: Blog Do Natanzaum ::: said, August 8th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
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