We had an incident.

Josh-O was preparing to bathe the monkey this evening. He got her undressed and gave her some air time. I came upstairs at this opportune time, and proceeded to play with the adorably naked monkey (oh, the google hits I’m going to get for this one…can’t wait…).

She was practicing her standing and decided to try walking with me. Her tummy was looking a little pudgier than usual (which I didn’t think was possible, but anyway). And, then, it happened. Just as I was saying “Josh! Come look! She’s walking!” peeeeeeeeeeee…. Out comes an endless stream of pee. All over our hardwood floor. Greeeeaaaat. To make matters worse, what does she do? C’mon, y’all know the answer. She sat in it. SPLASH! And, she proceeded to scootch around in the little puddle, spreading her pee all over the upstairs floor.

Josh and I scurried about not knowing what to do, or who was going to do what. Finally, I grabbed her. Picked her up (holding her as far away as possible from me). Stuck her in the tub and said, “I’ll bathe her. You clean.” I did not want to clean up that wet mess!

When he was done, I asked him to finish up with the monkey’s bath. After all, this whole thing was his fault! He gave her way too much air time and took his sweet old time preparing her bath…. As soon as I stepped out of the bathroom to change my peed-on pants, I noticed to my chagrin that the floor was still wet. Knowing my husband very well, I said, “that’s water and not pee, right hon?” No. I was wrong. The dude didn’t even use water to clean it! He just spread the pee around with a paper towel! Ewwww!

I finished the job, of course. And, the monkey had a good long bath. Hey, at least she got all that pee out before her bath, right? So, she wasn’t swimming in a bath full of it? Plus, she has a nasty diaper rash (from teething — molars!), so good that she didn’t sleep with all that pee in her diapy, right? See? Silver linings!

I got tagged by my beautiful and fabulous (blog and real-life) buddy ALI!!! I’m supposed to reveal 9 weird things about myself. But, you know what? I seem to remember doing this one a while back. So, I’ll switch it up a bit with new weird stuff about me and my little family. Check it:

1) Josh-O washes his face with Head & Shoulders shampoo (ahem).

2) The Monkey makes a hilarious exaggerated “O” face whenever you say her name….

3) I think sharks are beautiful, and I dream about them vividly now and then (when I’m lucky).

4) I am freakishly flexible: I can do every kind of splits and bend my fingers and thumbs all the way back.

5) Josh doesn’t use water to clean up pee on the floor (see above….).

6) Apparently, I’m a “wizard.” Like 10 years ago, a psychedelic artist told me so when I was having coffee with Erna in Ottawa. I asked him what he meant by that, and he said, “you’ll see.” I’m still waiting.

7) I do a voice for my cat Minden. He leaves messages on my friends’ answering machines….

8) When we were in university, my friend Lolo and I made up a song called “The Invisible Worm” (after William Blake’s poem, “The Sick Rose”). I still remember the weirdo melody we devised….

9) My mother and I use our own made-up accent when we talk about the monkey: “sleeping,” for instance, is pronounced “slahpin.”

I tag all of you weirdos out there whom I don’t think have done this one (and who won’t castigate me for tagging you!), namely, Jennie, Jenn, Tuggy, Bostick, Steve, Jeff, Amanda, Heidiho, and, the “new kid on the blog,” my good real-life buddy Adam!

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